Smug and officious.

In high school, I graduated without honors, but I received a special award for besting the rest of the class in the English course. I did not receive honors because I was a lousy student who did not have school books and notes. My special projects were often mediocre.

My special award caused me guilt because I felt I did not deserve it because I was not a hard-working student. When I was told of such award, I  mentally recalled the times when I actually dismissed the grammar part of English. The only interesting part for me was literature which included Mythology.

Reading is an obsession. I spend most of my time reading, from food labels, books, advertisements, magazines to behavioral patterns. It felt guilty because I topped English Literature only because I read and re-read the materials.

Grammar was difficult for me to absorb and caused numbness to my senses. I shut my brains at the talk of Subject-Verb agreement, Tenses, and Syllabication. I was content that my compositions were not red-flagged for grammatical errors; and I love spot-checking other person’s writing, no matter how officious it seems.

After years of communicating with smug and nonchalance, I had the misfortune of not acing a few grammar quizzes. I absolutely hate the way the scores made me feel.