He never met a bike he didn’t want to ride

Pick-up lines and such collated in a cumulative span of three months. Earnest men and an amateur dodger of affection.

1. Boy: “If you were my girl, I’d look deeply at your eyes all the time.”

Sammies: “Eyebags.”

2. Boy: “What would you say if someone told you he likes you?”

Sammies: “I say, you have good taste.”

3. Boy: “Hi, pwedeng makipagkilala?”

Sammies: “No, sorry, hindi pwede.”

4. Boy: “Sayang, we met at the wrong time.”

Sammies: “Bakit? It’s only 10am.”

5. Boy: “Mahal na kita.”

Sammies: “Hindi mo ako mahal, nagagandahan ka lang sa akin.”

6. Boy: “I will miss you. Why will you miss me?”

Sammies: “Why will you miss me?”

Boy: “Same reason why you’ll miss me.”

6. Boy: “Hindi, mahal talaga kita.”

Sammies: “Ok, so anong balak mo?”

7. Boy: “You look terribly wicked.”

Sammies: “Is that a compliment? I take that as a compliment.”

8. Boy: “Pwedeng ikaw na lang?”

Sammies: “I told you, I’m taken, let’s just find you a girl.”

9. Boy: “I miss you.”

Sammies: “I supposed that by now you should have gotten over me.”

10. Boy: “Are you single?”

Sammies: “For taxation purposes, I’m single. But I’m committed.”

11. Boy: “Let’s go out for dinner, after work.”

Sammies: “Let’s just have lunch.”

12. Boy: “If I changed and pursued you, would you have me?”

Sammies: “Is that even possible?”

13. Boy: “Can I ask you out?”

Sammies: “No, I’m taken.”

Boy: “Ok, I’m not asking you to be my girlfriend, btw, just out or something.”

14. Boy: “You’re my type. Too bad you’re taken.”

Sammies: “Style!”

15. Boy: “I love you.”

(Eternal Silence)

Smug and officious.

In high school, I graduated without honors, but I received a special award for besting the rest of the class in the English course. I did not receive honors because I was a lousy student who did not have school books and notes. My special projects were often mediocre.

My special award caused me guilt because I felt I did not deserve it because I was not a hard-working student. When I was told of such award, I  mentally recalled the times when I actually dismissed the grammar part of English. The only interesting part for me was literature which included Mythology.

Reading is an obsession. I spend most of my time reading, from food labels, books, advertisements, magazines to behavioral patterns. It felt guilty because I topped English Literature only because I read and re-read the materials.

Grammar was difficult for me to absorb and caused numbness to my senses. I shut my brains at the talk of Subject-Verb agreement, Tenses, and Syllabication. I was content that my compositions were not red-flagged for grammatical errors; and I love spot-checking other person’s writing, no matter how officious it seems.

After years of communicating with smug and nonchalance, I had the misfortune of not acing a few grammar quizzes. I absolutely hate the way the scores made me feel.