Chockful of quirks

A few days ago, I joined Ronald take his break and we discussed our online endeavors. I was absorbed and passionate about how I want to read like, because I really have a goal doing this.

He told me, I sound like my old cerebral self, before I became engrossed with money-making, before I was a barista, before I lost weight, and before I have been conveniently labeled as a fashionista by people who don’t know me better.

It was extremely inspiring to hear that I talk like I used to five years ago. I still think like that, I am still insightful, and profound, I know I haven’t lost touch with my poetic intelligent brain.

But I have been grounded by common culture. My lilting mind has to take a back seat to allow myself to be part of a bigger community. Because it will be difficult to lead, if I insist to be different.

Several of my like-minded friends have probably counted me out of the “cerebral circle” because of my present circumstances.

My superficiality is only superficial. I look shallow because that’s how most pretty dressed-up girls are perceived.

I’m still the same fat girl with her pen and paper, only thinner and prettier.

Melodramatic rebels without a cause

At lunch today Nanay Luday and I waited outside my gay cousin’s public high school to pick him up. It was my first time in years to be so very surrounded by students in their pubescent years.

We waited for an hour and it was enough of a time for me to see so much of the public school system and the culture of students today. I only see students in malls, and I have an aversion for the sight of them. Kids these days pretend they’re adults. There’s something about the way they act and tackle teen issues that annoy me. Yes, I got the word, melodramatic, kid’s are so like that.

Very little number of students act their age, and I know they’re the ones who get better grades in school. It’s always exciting to gradually know something about the world, growing up feels like having to take charge.

I was also a little pretentious in my teens; I’ve had image issues, keeping my head always bowed down when I walked around the neighborhood because I felt defensive. I was also grungy and sullen, and I minded what other people thought of me. There are things I didn’t enjoy doing, including bringing an umbrella, smiling, standing straight, buying fish and other innocuous errands.

My views changed when I started to enjoy being myself and minded what Mommy told me about choosing to be oblivious of the world. It worked, I stopped taking myself and the rest of the world seriously and found out no one would confront me with that. It actually felt better living and just letting my quirks shine.

Most students I observed at the public school, gaaad , were more grungy, “Rebel without a Cause” personified. I can overhear the girls’ chatter about their gangster boyfriends and girlfriends; and how they plan to defeat the other gang in their next riot. They’re scheming and doing business they shouldn’t even know about in the first place because they’re kids.

They are angst-ridden, grungy, over-the-top, melodramatic children, who will, in their adult years probably forget about their present business; and find out that life is more than gangs, drugs, parties, romance, because by then, heaven forbid, they will have children of their own to feed.

I have more hope for those who act their age; may they make something successful of themselves.

Brainy romance

Ronald told me at lunch that he’d like to be either a veterinarian or a meteorologist. He asked which I think is better; I picked veterinarian because it has more heart. meteorology is boring; what would he fill our house with? Maps? Barometers?

I’d rather have dogs and cats and tigers at home. Being kind to animals relieves stress and brings happiness.

I also joked that I don’t like meteors. It was a good thing he knows me well to know when I am playing dumb. It is comfortable to play dumb because I know I can back it up with encyclopedic intelligence.

Intellectual chemistry matters in a relationship. It fires up mundane things because being smart is sexy, especially if you are in the same wavelength. I get his jokes, he gets mine. It doesn’t turn him off when I play dumb because I’m just being funny. I’m not turned off when he slips because he’a a hundred times more intelligent than any eligible man I know.

Wardrobe nicknames

Finally, I was able to bring home my semi-free clothes from work the other day. I was extremely excited I wore one of those the very next day.

I call it my “angel” top, and to my surprise everyone agrees about this asymmetrical top.

My clothes have nicknames, so I can purposefully suggest to my friends what I think it makes me look like.

There’s rainbow, barbie, witch, first lady, CEO, pumpkin, tree, flower, grandma, man, and vegetable.

Posture goal

For the past two months, I have been working on developing my proper posture. While growing up, I was misled by common school culture that keeping my back straight is corny. That’s not surprising because some girls really look slouchy cool. There’s Kate Moss for one, and most “It” girls stand slouchy.

But as I discover my own person, I also realize that there are classic rules I should live by. Good manners, proper etiquette, impeccable grammar, poise, and perfect posture.

I think I will not have difficulty achieving the rest, except for posture.

I’ve also concluded that perfect fitting shoes result to better posture. All my VNC shoes are comfortable so I am able to achieve my daily goal to good posture. Some of my shoes make me slump no matter how pretty they are.

There are also activities that make me slump, including blogging, because I tend to bow on to the laptop screen. Dang! I wish I knew better while I was in my formative years. I wish I aimed class and poise instead of grunge.

Clothing misery

It’s always a misery to think of an outfit for the day. It’s similar to a writer’s block. There are days I’m in the groove and my ideas are brilliant. And then there are days I look fake, sound fake, read fake and beg the day to end.

I review my clothes in my head, for instance, I’ve been conjuring up an outfit for tomorrow as early as 11AM this morning. It’s almost a 12-hour labour and I haven’t decided yet.

If tomorrow I haven’t made up my mind yet, I will have to waste 30 minutes of my precious quick time and risk punctuality. Or, I will submit to this block and wear a dress.

Since I’ve gone past my “dress madness”, these cute little things have become the clothing of choice when I don’t have a choice.

When I find time, I will take pictures of all my clothes and post them on my closet door to expedite my thinking process. That’s so control freak.

Peanut thoughts

On my way home I opened a pack of Tobi’s Dry roasted peanuts which I bought from the supermarket. As I consumed all of the measly 50 grams, I thought it would not suffice to entertain me for the rest of the ride.

The nutrition information indicated that the serving size is 29 grams. Whoa! So I have been overeating by twice the amount, when it didn’t fill me much.

I also thought about the mythical nutritional benefits of peanuts; that it increases intellectual capacity. If I remember correctly from my high school botany class, peanuts are legumes and legumes are rich in nitrogen. Legumes are like beans. Ergo, nitrogen increases intellectual capacity. I just put in the bean theory but it doesn’t weigh anything.

Okay, I’m not really sure, It’s just from off the top of my head. The chemical could be nitrogen or something else that starts with “N”. Or the plant family could be legumes or root crops.

All the same, I now realize the relevance of basic science subjects. Had I paid more attention, or understood enough, I wouldn’t be unsure of my peanut theories.

Microfiber cotton gift ideas

Most people my age whom I know have at least a dozen godchildren. I only have 2, the latest being just today. Now I begin to wonder, am I unlikeable and do I appear unhelpful?

I’m not advertising for more godchildren, I’m content with two girlies to give gifts to every year.

Maybe I have less godchildren because my friends aren’t parents yet; I mean my very close friends who will probably entrust me with the lives of their children, if anything. The numbers will probably rise in 2 years; maybe at the same time I decide to have kids of my own. As they say, birds of a feather flock together.

For my latest goddaughter’s christening, I bought three sets of microfiber cotton towels. I’m a lousy gift-giver when on a tight budget. But I paid extra attention to the gift wrapping, I did it myself.

I actually love buying and wrapping gifts, and believe that I can do better than the people who get paid to do it. It is more heartfelt to finish the gift-giving exercise down to the ribbon and gift tag. Some people are lazy, they demand for a nice carrier bag because it’s meant as a gift. That’s very lousy, lousier than my microfiber cotton gift ideas.

By the way, it’s genuine soft cotton.

With a period

then

Joanna ended her first job with so much pride; I actually envy her guts and her life’s path. First, her guts could kill, she could easily lambaste every stranger on the bus- though her favorites are FX passengers. Next and most recently, she left her job with a period.

now

It was portentous, the way she left; the company she worked for reprimanded her for using a “period”, instead probably of a comma. And it wasn’t a publication, not even remotely cerebral (I’m sorry I didn’t mean to disparage the BPO industry).

So, her cause for leaving may also mean that the BPO chapter of her life has ended. It may also mean, that her days of menial information banking tasks have ended.

She must look this in a positive light. If it were me, with a laugh, I’d say, it’s poetry in motion.

Cringing with envy

Recently, I checked into Ichael’s friendster account and found that he is friends with Coffeebean Convergys profile. Unfortunately, that profile is managed by people I don’t know. I felt lame and lonely because I’ve been thinking about opening such profile during our heydays at the Bean but there wasn’t much time; we were so busy being happy.

It was really lame because I felt jealous that somebody else is owning the store I helped establish. I had an amazing time in CBTL CVG, it is where I found my niche and nurtured my personality.

In my resignation letter, I mentioned that the friendships I forged with my co-workers were life-long and my experience, precious.

In my most jealous state, I cringed and thought, they’re new; what they arrived at, we were the antecedents and the pioneers. But that won’t matter to them now, they didn’t know I used to be the buddy trainer who stayed there the longest. They wouldn’t know that we were the pillars of that store. They wouldn’t know what we went through.

It’s amazing, that after 14 months since I left CVG, I still hold it special to me. An extraordinary ownership that I may never hold for another.

It’s a job I can’t turn my back on. It’s stupid thinking like this because I have an ultra-glamorous job now and it loves me.

I won’t visit that profile again because I’ll just cringe with envy, they still have the job I mindlessly left.